Boxes are ready, the standard moving procedure is about to end, and the cleaning service is hired for the end of this week. It’s happening. I’m moving again.

Sweden was exactly what I expected before coming here: winter, darkness, and complete silence while I spent time building tech for Datia.

Winterviken

I will miss very much the walks in Vinterviken or being surrounded by such an amazing nature.

The funny thing about all of this is that the weather is not why I’m writing this; that would be falling into a cliché. In the end millon people live in this city. It cannot be that bad. Maybe it’s a good excuse and perhaps it works as an afterthought and in chit-chat conversations (since Swedes are experts in talking about weather) but in a deeper thought experiment the weather is almost used as a joke.

In my view there’s one main personal reason (apart of my partner living in another country and us wanted to be together) why I decided to move away:

No third places.

I grew up in the countryside, near Rosario, a really nice and calm city where everyone was wandering around, talking, greeting, and hanging out in places. Those places I found later on in the city and in every place where I lived. I’ve always found places to hang out. Except here.

In Turin, it was Il Parco Valentino, Porta Palazzo, the many coffees in the street that you can stop-drink-go, the trattorias, and at least ten other different kinds of places.

From mountains to forests, clubs, frozen lakes, etc.; I knew something was happening everywhere. Energy. People laughing. Just hanging out with strangers in the same physical space (even if the time was not being directly shared).

Living abroad makes you feel quite disconnected from everything, and it feels strange to be an outsider. However, you want to feel comfortable enough to feel close to home.

That’s why, abroad, you end up listening to music from the country you’re from, eating the things you didn’t like before or, in my case, drinking mate (much more than at home).

Escaping this reality and living outside your comfort zone is nice for a while, and then suddenly you start to feel trapped in an infinite loop of dissatisfaction.

Where you were is not the place you want, and now the place you want is no longer the place you wanted to live before.

It’s a dichotomy, and it’s because traveling changes you. However, don’t travel in a touristy way. Travel in a way that you feel penetrated by the culture of the place you are in. The feeling of being part of the routine and not just an NPC.

Now, Stockholm; you might as well be replaced by a flower vase in the subway, and no one will ever care.

A lovely city, with awesome transportation that can take you everywhere you want, a city almost taken from a dream and put onto earth with lovely people and well-designed interiors, with peculiar architecture and astonishing cleanliness all over the place.

You might have events, clubs, bars, or even activities such as bouldering (with an amazing boulder place), although everyone is going somewhere, and you are not invited. If clubs exist, which I know for sure there are many of them (like sports clubs, board game clubs, etc.), they might require you to have a ticket or a schedule.

Disclaimer: there may be third places that I am not aware of and premises. If so, feel free to let me know so I can visit them next time!

Learning how to be by yourself makes you better, although during the winter, practically everything dies out (except for a few parties), and even if such activities exist, your soul is being crushed by the furious winter.

I was fortunate to have a few friends in the city while we were building Datia, with an office fulfilled by amazing coworkers. However, the sensation on Friday evenings was awful.

My sensation after spending almost eight months here is that everyone is invited to a party that you are not.

There’s no synchronicity, no spontaneous meet-ups, no random strangers you might encounter.

Before any Swedes get mad, don’t get me wrong – it’s a perfect life you are living here. You don’t have chaos. You don’t encounter aleatory events in the street that might delay you from doing your thing, and even the lunch breaks during weekdays are optimized with those peculiar buffets you have.

It’s also a lovely country, fulfilled by crazy good nature, and it’s crowded by awesome people. However, I learned it’s not for me.

Nowadays, I believe I feel accomplished in the end for the decision. I managed to live here for a while and understand a little bit more about myself.

Moreover, I started contributing to Wing, I did my virtual machine in Rust, and I even wrote and coded an essay after years of not writing anything that technical.

Places are just places, and we are the things that happen inside those, and that’s why I loved being here because I understood how to love your own place. Your home.

Spain, you are next.